Romance scams

Scammers use romance to make connections, build relationships and trick people into sending money.

 

What is a romance scam?

Fraudsters pretend to be interested in a romantic relationship online to trick you into giving them money or personal information.

It can be hard for victims to notice at first, and family members can only help if they know about it. If you think you might be getting scammed, talk to someone you trust and report it.

Know what to look out for

Are they using a fake profile?

Fraudsters pretend to be someone else with fake profiles on social media and dating sites. A common trick scammers use is to steal and use other people’s photos, making their social media or dating profile look more realistic.

Not sure? You can use the reverse image search on Google. This shows you if the picture is showing up somewhere else on the internet, on another person’s profile.

Keeping their identity a secret?

Romance fraudsters are not honest about their names. They don’t reveal who they really are, and it’s rare for a scammer to talk on the phone.

They might say they want to meet and even make plans, but it never actually happens. Don’t trust someone with your money or personal information if you haven’t met in real life.

Have they asked you for money?

Romance scammers build trust over time. They chat in a certain way that makes victims feel like they’re in a real-life relationship to gain power. This makes it easier to ask for money.

They usually say the money is to help with an urgent problem. Like bills to pay, a medical emergency or they need money to travel to meet up with you.

Never send money to someone you don’t know in real life.

Are they asking to chat elsewhere?

The romance scammers know that it’s possible to report someone on a social media site or dating app. They’ll try to get you to talk on a messaging app instead, like WhatsApp. Make sure the person is genuine before sharing your phone number.

They use the same messages for lots of different people, to increase their chances of getting someone to talk to them.

Trying to keep the relationship secret?

Fraudsters know that if friends and family find out about an online relationship, they could ask questions, expose them and try to stop it. If someone asks you to keep the relationship a secret, or to share personal details, be suspicious. They may be trying to isolate and control you.

If you enter an online relationship, tell your family or a trusted friend. Their advice could help keep you safe.

Mary's story

What happened to Mary could happen to anyone.

“I joined a Facebook group of a film I loved and a member called Paul sent a private message. We stayed in the group until Paul suggested WhatsApp, where our chat became more about our lives.

We messaged daily and Paul shared photos of himself, some with his daughter. We even spoke on the phone, but Paul never wanted to video call.

Sadly, Paul’s bank account was blocked and he couldn’t get any money. He sent photos of bank statements showing £1 million was due to clear and more in savings. I agreed to help and sent gift cards and some money.

Then suddenly, Paul’s daughter fell ill and needed an urgent kidney transplant. I saw photos of her in hospital and the doctor caring for her sent a message. Paul was overseas with the army. He asked me to pay the hospital bill, promising to pay me back when his bank was okay to use again. I said yes and had to send money to a lady named Monique, who dealt with the payments for the hospital.

I couldn’t afford to send anymore, but Paul suggested I get a loan. This made me nervous, so I told my daughter who made me realise I’d been the victim of a romance scam.

I ended the relationship but lost over £14,500. If I hadn’t told my family, I could have lost a lot more than just my money.

It took a while to get over Paul, but I’m happy now and with someone I’ve met in person who loves me. If a relationship feels pressured or secretive, never be afraid to talk to someone about it as it could be a fraudster.”

Victims of romance scams – how to get help

Realising that a relationship is not real is hurtful. Not just because they’ve lost money, but they can feel embarrassed and ashamed, too.

There’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. This happens to lots of people every year.

If you think that you or someone you know has been the victim of a romance scam, call Action Fraud on 0300 123 2040 or visit actionfraud.police.uk in England and Wales. In Scotland, you can contact the police on 101.

Always phone 999 in an emergency.

Learn about other scams and how to protect yourself

Scam calls

Want to know how fraudsters can use your details to win your trust?

Avoid scam calls

Scam emails and texts

Find out how fraudsters try to steal your details.

Avoid scam messages

Pension scams

Fraudsters can pretend to be someone you trust to target your pension.

Protect your pension

Investment scams

Fraudsters may pretend to be a genuine company or adviser.

Avoid investment scams

Protect your devices

Do you know how to keep all of  your devices safe?

Learn about device safety

Protect your identity

Fraudsters may try to steal your personal and banking details.

Keep your identity safe

Learn about the latest scams

Fraudsters are always looking for new ways to try to steal your details and money. Discover which scams are common right now.

Go to latest scams

Have you been targeted by fraudsters

Contact us right away if you think you’ve been scammed. We can then guide you on what to do next.

Contact us now

Stay scam safe

Learn how to spot and avoid scams, and how to report fraud.

Protect yourself from fraud

Stay scam safe

Learn how to spot and avoid scams, and how to report fraud.

Protect yourself from fraud